Faith’s Guide

FREEDOM IN FORGIVENESS

Finding Freedom in Forgiveness

Ever been burnt, betrayed by someone you love and trusted? I’m sure these are experiences many, if not all of us can relate to.  


During a recent trip away, I reflected on a conversation I had with my sister about someone I (was going to say used to love, but I still do) love.  In this moment I realised how conversations or thoughts about the person does not trigger any negative emotions.  There was no sign of hurt, bitterness or anger, I felt neutral, even happy at what I had heard.  It dawned on me that I had forgiven them. 

A few weeks prior I attended a Christian conference (‘Sorting Out’. I highly recommend) and one of the speakers spoke on forgiveness.  To be honest he shared things I had heard many times before, but it was good to have the message of forgiveness being a choice and essential reinforced. 



I thought of a particular person I had struggled to forgive.  I recall psyching myself up; I had to let go.

Finding Freedom through Forgiveness

Part of me didn’t want to. I mean my anger and resentment was justified…but then I thought to myself:

How long? 

How much longer will I harbour these feelings?

Why am I choosing to inflict myself with this pain?

Forgiveness Is A Choice.

 

I was essentially choosing to hurt myself by holding on to this pain.

Find healing and peace when you forgive

It’s like someone (spitefully) giving you a ball and telling you to hold it and squeeze it tightly. The moment you begin to squeeze pins shoot out of the ball; causing injuries, and a great deal of pain. 

In this situation there are two choices:

  • continuing to hold on to the ball with the spikes, causing more pain and additional cuts. 
  • Or letting go of the ball; attend to your wounds, moving on, and with time allowing the wounds to close up and heal.  

 

Yes, after a while, you may still see marks, and scars of the wounds. But, the pain (especially at the level of intensity when the spikes cut you) can no longer be felt. And that’s often the experience of forgiveness; there may be things that remind you of what happened. But the lack of pain associated with these reminders is evidence of you letting go in forgiveness, and moving forward towards full healing.

You have the choice to hold on and continuously hurt yourself or you can choose to let go and give your hurt a chance to heal. 

 

Just to note, attending to the wound, is not permission to go over the hurt, or things that were done/said to you.  It’s about caring for yourself! This may be through prayer. It may mean thinking about creating certain boundaries, having accountability partners, going for therapy.  

 

Dressing The Wounds Is About You, And Your Healing. 


Back to that conference, I made a decision to let go and forgive. I prayed a simple and short prayer that God will help me by His grace to let go, move on and not remember things with bitterness, anger, hatred or hurt anymore. 

Today as I write this I think about the conversation I had with my sister and I see that I have actually forgiven. 

 

You Are Free When You Forgive

In this forgiveness I have found freedom; of my emotions, heart, and valuable head space.  

 

There is a special peace of mind that comes with forgiveness, and with this, I can genuinely say I wish this person all the very best of God’s blessings.  

I know forgiveness can be hard, especially when it seems like it’s justified. Trust me the best thing you can do is make the choice to let go and forgive. Ask God to help you, you will find His grace at hand to help you through this process.  And in forgiving, you will find freedom. 

 
In truth and with love,

Faith xox

 

The Pursuit of Love

 

February, the Month of Love ♥

It’s that season when some of us are Boo’d up, and the rest…hmm not quite, but we’re still happy.

 

One thing I love about love is The Pursuit.  You know when you’re just getting to know someone, there’s this relentless pursuit.  The constant calls, the WhatsApp messages back and forth, the lengthy texts.

It’s exciting, it’s new, you’re hooked, and you want to be around the person ALL the time.

You want to speak to them all day, you look forward to seeing them.  Dates are fun, even when they just consist of quiet walks where no-one is saying much.  Just the presence of the other person brings a sense of satisfaction, and happiness.

 

Goodbyes can be hard, even when you know they are just temporary. New love is amazing.

And then somehow, things slow down.

You kind of get ‘used’ to being with each other, the new things aren’t so novel anymore.  The little cute things slowly lose their spark. The love hasn’t necessarily diminished, but the overt and elaborate expressions of love have…

Whilst most would agree the pursuit should never stop, the reality is that it does.  It’s the sad trajectory of a lot of human relationships.

If you think keeping the momentum in a relationship is tough (and expensive), try maintaining that same energy in a relationship with a faulty foundation.  The ‘love’ will peak quickly, before it rapidly and sometimes hurtfully crashes.

If you find yourself pursuing a ‘love’ in a [hu]man because of loneliness, discontentment, insecurity, hurt – I can almost guarantee you will not find what you’re looking for.  At first things may seem amazing, but beyond the surface you will realise ‘that love’ will not make you feel complete, valued, fulfilled or healed.  Pursuing love ‘just because’, can get messy and leave you broken.

To those who are happy in love, continue to celebrate each other in love, commending the good in one another, and in love covering weaknesses.

And if you are not in a good place this Valentine’s Day, if you are unhappily single (because being single is not a bad thing – another post for another day), nursing a heartbreak, going through challenges in your relationship you are most likely not alone.  Do not let this day ‘highlight’ all the things the things you lack, or things that are wrong.  Instead bask in the knowledge that:

He loves you with an everlasting love.

(Jeremiah 31:3)

Yesterday at the Bible study I attend we were looking a this scripture and thinking about it is really mind blowing:  

 

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

(Philippians 2: 5-8)

 

Imagine leaving your home which is full of glory, comfort, complete luxury and every other great and incredible you can think of to go to a place that is the total opposite.  And on top of that you’re subjected to all sorts of abuse, ridiculed, mocked, beaten – all for the sake of LOVE.  Despite the sacrifice of leaving your glorious home, you’re rejected by the ones you came to show and give this Love to.  It doesn’t discourage you, the rejection gives you more oomph to keep pursuing….now that is the definition of LOVE.

Complete Selflessness. Complete Sacrifice. That is Love.

The breadth, and depth of the love of God is crazy!! Too much for us to fully comprehend.  And what’s great about it, is that it’s unconditional

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

(Romans 5:8)

It’s not limited to one day a year, but  it’s eternal.

True Love is liberating and is found in Jesus Christ.

 

His love for you is so wide and runs so deep, that you were and always are worth The PURSUIT.

Happy Valentine’s Day

In truth and with lots of love

Faith xox

HIS LOVE BUG

A few of my favourite scriptures that remind me of His love for me…

The Lord appeared to me from ages past, saying,
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.
“Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt […]
You will again be adorned […]

(Jeremiah 31:3-4)

[…] No one will ever snatch them out of My hand.  My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater and mightier than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.

(John 10:29)

[…] Neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8:37-39)

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.

(Psalm 103:11)

 

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

(Psalm 27:10)

Happy Valentine’s Day 

In truth and in with love

Faith xox

Are you walking in your purpose?

The word of the season seems to be ‘purpose’. I guess the obsession is understandable for this time of year, as many use the first couple of months to set goals and plan the rest of their year.

 
I’ve heard so many…

‘I need to walk in my purpose’, ‘I need to find my purpose’, ’I’m quitting my job to live my purpose’, ‘what is your purpose, and are you walking in it?’

These questions sometimes make me cringe or roll my eyes. Reason being, is the trending nature in which these purpose fuelled conversations are discussed.

Quick disclaimer: Purpose is important. Knowing your calling, identifying and using your gifts and talents are all vital parts of our existence.  I strongly believe it is important to live a purposeful and fulfilling life to the glory of God. 

My issue lies in this unrelenting quest to discover ‘purpose’.  Some are so bent on discovering their ‘purpose’, they’re no longer living life, as this pursuit has positioned itself as their biggest if not only mission in life.   

 

I also hear bold talks of giving up day jobs to ‘pursue purpose’.

Call me a cynic, I honestly believe many have not actually realised their purpose and are quitting jobs and assignments to follow their own dreams or desires. I do not necessarily disagree with this, but when I think of ‘purpose’, I consider it to be far greater than personal wants or desires, there is a bigger picture which I’ll touch on in more detail later.  There are some extreme cases where people follow trends and disguise it as ‘pursuing purpose’, which is too dangerous and unfulfilling game to be playing.

 

What exactly is your purpose?

Do you have to know what your purpose is?

How do I fulfil my purpose?

How do I know if I’m in my purpose?

 

I recall my pastor’s commentary on purpose at a young adults meeting,  he frankly started that purpose is something only revealed by The Creator. 

He asked us to think about what we would do with a product we were not sure of its use.

He answered, ‘you would probably refer to the manual’.
Why?
Because it has a description of what the product is, how it should be used, and step by step instructions on how to use it. Using our intuition and instincts to piece the product together will probably result in mis-use or even complete damage.  Hence the importance of the manual, it is essential for proper and maximum use.  I believe this same principle should be applied to us.

To live a full, life of purpose, to understand our purpose; what we were created for and how to properly utilise our skills, gifts and abilities we need to refer to our Manual.

The Manual.  

 But, this is a step we often skip, as we tend to head straight over to ‘in-use’ mode.  Then when things start creaking or playing up we begin the hunt for the instructions.  At this point you would think we would refer to ‘The Manual’, nope, most would rather refer to a quick read because of that very reason –it’s quick; there’s no need to take time to understand, a quick glance and you get the gist and off again to in-use mode.

We rush to sign up for conferences, seminars, talks and the likes, to get understanding of what our purpose is.  We begin looking for answers that can really only be provided by The One who created us.

 

Do not misunderstand me; I believe attending conferences, seminars, workshops are great.  Having mentors, coaches, teachers are all really important, but they cannot give us the specific answers we need for our lives, only God can.

If we look at Samuel for example, who called out to him? God.

 

Only God knew exactly the reason and purpose for which He called Samuel.

Eli functioning in the capacity of a mentor was able to guide him towards acknowledging the voice of God. Eli did NOT act as an intermediary and get Samuels purpose downloaded from God and then transfer it to him.  Nope, being someone who was experienced in the office of a priest and having the understanding that God speaks to His people, he was able to share this knowledge with Samuel, so Samuel could respond.  It was God who called Samuel; Samuel had the responsibility of responding and listening to what God had to say (see 1 Samuel 3 for the full story).

This is how we should see our mentors, coaches and teachers.  Most of them have walked the road we intend to, thus more experienced in particular areas. They lend their knowledge and expertise to help and nurture us in these areas.  They are to help us identify areas of strengths and improvement so we can fulfil that calling. But they cannot tell you what your purpose is; only The One who created you knows the specific reason for creating you.  Only He knows exactly what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.

If you do not know what your purpose is, that’s fine (for now). I would advise spending quality time talking to your Creator, inquiring of Him.

We need to break this ‘I need to know now and do right now’ frame of mind.  We cheat ourselves of n developing a deep relationship with our Creator, cultivating our character, honing our gifts and skills because of this need to obtain quick answers and results. 

We are told:

For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.

(Matthew 7:13)

This road is wide to accommodate the multitude that travel through and  fit the plethora of glossy and well manicured tips and suggestions to live life.  We know from this scripture that this attractive wide road only leads to destruction.

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

(Matthew 7:14)

 

The truth is spending quality time seeking God is not always fun and glamorous.  But the narrow road is narrow for that reason, it is tight, it squeezes out of us the excesses of life contaminated by sin.  It is sometimes hard; this moulds us, shaping us to be more like Christ.  It is narrow because not many choose to journey through, and not all who choose this path make it all the way to the end.
 

To find your purpose you need to get yourself into His presence, spend time in The Word, engage in dialogue that means pray, wait and listen.  This will probably give you the answers you need and provide the clarity and revelation you so desperately seek. 

On a practical note, be diligent.  We need to learn to consistently put our best foot forward.

Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand in the presence of kings. He will not stand in the presence of unknown men.

(Proverbs 22:29)

 Learn to be content in whatever season of life you’re in, this does not mean settling or burying ambition. It means to be okay with where you are now and who you are, trusting God has got you and:
[..]know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28).

Meditate on this scripture and live it!

Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being, for the Lord and not for men

(Colossians 3:23)

Do not be fooled, this dream that the world and social media is selling about purpose, is not all glamorous. I believe whatever your purpose or calling it is beyond you.  It is to be used for God and to serve humanity. Therefore, whatever you are doing now, wherever you are now, whatever season you’re in; it’s a purposeful season to serve God, serve others and develop yourself in preparation for the next stage. 

In truth and with love,
 

Faith xox

 

 

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2018

08.01.18. Day 8 already!

Happy new year everyone.

I’m sure some are already tired of hearing ‘Happy New Year’.  I’m one of those people that continues to wish people a happy new year well into March! If I have not seen you in the new year, whether it be mid February or late March you will most certainly receive new year salutations from me.

Earlier last week one of my Pastor’s posted on Instagram that before wishing her followers a happy new year she meditated on what she was actually saying. Yesterday at Church, the senior pastor along the same lines spoke about the weight our words carry and how greetings such as happy new year are  almost said with no true conviction. 

With this in mind, I genuinely wish you all a very Happy New Year. A year filled with the blessings of God. May He make all things new and beautiful for you and to you this year.

 

In all my reflections of the last year, I can truly testify that God indeed answers prayers. Though it may tarry and take longer than we expect, He is true to His Word.

 

Last year I saw the manifestation of this scripture:

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,so shall my word be

that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I

purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

(Isaiah 55: 10-11)

If He says He’s going to do it, trust me (well trust Him) He will do it.

To trust in Him means to surrender it all to Him. When we offer our prayers, make our applications and requests known to Him we need to leave it there at His feet and trust that:‘And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose’ (Romans 8:28).

I’m sure many of us have major plans, goals, vision boards and all that good stuff set for 2018. I pray that whatever is in our hearts, whatever we desire God will grant us this year and more.

And whatever the year has in store, just remember that ‘many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails’ (Proverbs 19:21).

That being said know God has got you 100% this year, hold on to what He has said and remember He will never leave you or forsake you (Joshua 1:5).

 

Happy new year!

In truth and with love 

Faith xox

 

 

Faith’s Guide