Faith’s Guide

FENCES

      I’m not much of a movie lover, but last weekend I branched out a little and watched two great movies, one of which was ‘Fences’. I give Fences a solid 10/10, and would definitely recommend it.  It was rich in themes, stories, sub stories and laden with emotion, so much that I had to hold back the tears a few times.  There was one particular scene that really moved me and became the focal point of discussion with my best friend after the film. Don’t worry I wont give too much away just incase some of you want to watch it.

 

So,this scene hosted an intense conversation between the two main protagonists, Troy (Denzel) and Rose (Viola), who did an incredible job by the way. The conversation, well argument was full of ‘I have done this’, ‘I have given up that’, ‘I didn’t do because’.  The topic of unspoken and unseen sacrifice had moved from its  place backstage and was now centre stage, spearheading the argument.

 

The level of sacrifice from each person had clearly created an atmosphere of dissonance and resentment in the home. Regret was evident, bitterness was present and grief over unfulfilled potential, manifested through the harsh exchange of words.

I empathised with Troy and Rose, but as I looked at Rose I vowed quietly that I would never become her.

I commend her as a mother and wife, because it seemed like she excelled in those roles. But there was something I felt was missing. It was as if Rose had dedicated her life so much to fulfilling these ‘roles’ that she lost the essence of who she was. I’m not a wife or mother (yet), so maybe I do not understand the extent of family sacrifice. Maybe I just don’t get it.  But I still felt that Rose, and Troy for that matter hid behind these roles so much they did not do what they wanted, and never really became who they wanted.

 

They were both unhappy and bitter.

 

As I yapped away with my friend we discussed the expectation we sometimes  (unconsciously) place on others to bring us happiness and fulfilment. I understand that whatever kind of relationship you’re in there will obviously be an element of sacrifice, but I do not believe it means giving up who you are, your core beliefs or your calling. I also believe it is foolish to make such sacrifices with the expectation that someone else is going to be the vehicle that will transport you to your fulfilled self.
The aforementioned scene reinforced to me that the only person that is responsible for my happiness is me! The only person that is responsible for me being fulfilled is me! And this is one memo I think Rose and Troy ignored and left pinned on their refrigerator.

I was reminded that God has indeed give us the power to create and live the kind of life that we desire.

How?

1.

Through the use of His Word.

 

We have authority to speak those things which aren’t as if they were and watch them become. Choose your word’s wisely.
The power of the tongue is life and death— those who love to talk will eat what it produces (Proverbs 18:21).
What are you saying about yourself, your situation?

Are you full of ‘shoulda, woulda, couldas’? Or are you able to see what you want, make a decree and watch it (by faith) be established?

 

2.

Write the vision

(Habakkuk 2:2)

 

So you know where you are going and what you need to get you there. We’ve discussed goal setting and commitment to the goal – check it out here. Have you considered thoroughly what you will need to get there? Do you know how to get there? Are you ready to pay the price in commitment for it?

 

3.

Humble yourself and get a mentor. 

 

Someone who has been there, who has achieved what you desire and who is willing to train you and show you the way.  Elisha was an apprentice to Elijah, Joshua learnt under Moses- submit yourself to someone for guidance, counsel, instruction- trust me you will make fewer mistakes!

 

4.

‘Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you’

(Psalm 37:5)

 

Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6).

Being happy and living a life of purpose is not just for our personal fulfilment. It goes beyond the fences of self and extends to others. We have been called to impact lives, encourage, strengthen, help and challenge others to do and be better.

In truth and with love
Faith xox

Hearing from God

 

A couple of weeks ago I was writing a few essays. Usually when I have assignments for school or work I would spend hours planning, collating information before settling down to produce the first draft. This time, I spent days on end planning and scribbling, just to produce something I consider substandard.  I reached out to friends, colleagues and mentors for inspiration for their help, which they willingly extended. But when I hit the send button I didn’t feel the usual sense of relief or achievement. Instead, I felt like I had betrayed myself, I was ashamed and conscience-stricken. I know you’re probably thinking I’m being melodramatic, it was only an essay after all.  But, I knew my actions revealed something a lot deeper; this was evidence of a reoccurring pattern of behaviour.  But I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was causing or perpetuating this cycle of behaviour. 

A week later, during a random conversation with a friend I had an epiphany. I realised that I was losing myself and was starting to become dependant on others, hence the feeling of betrayal.

In my attempt to create the perfect written piece I became a fraud to myself as I succumbed to the opinions and views of others. 

I was more than capable of the task at hand, I have views, opinions and when I put my mind to it I’m okay at articulating my point. However, this time I deprived myself of such opportunities, and just ran for help, even though I did not necessarily need it. The end result was living out, well writing out someone else’s set of beliefs. 

This essay situation was just one of many events where I noticed I was not being true to myself but was taking the advice of others pretty much as gospel. 

I feel obliged to insert this disclaimer: I am of the school of there is safety in a multitude of counsellors (Proverbs 11:14; Proverbs 15:22).  But I also believe this group of counsellors needs to be  well defined. 

Back to this conversation, it highlighted to me that I had lost myself by ignoring the small, faint voice that was consistently saying the same thing.  This delicate voice that I have come to recognise as the voice of God was dismissed traded for ‘all- knowledgeable’ clanging cymbals. Which cost me time, money, effort and emotions. 

Hearing from God is such a privilege and many times we forfeit the counsel of The One who knows us better than we know ourselves by running to others as our first port of call.

Asking for direction and guidance does need to be an elaborate or grand process. It has been reinforced to me during this period the simplicity of just asking God…

‘What do You think I should do?’

Or 

‘What are your thoughts on X?’

Proverbs 3:6 reminds us that if we acknowledge him in all our ways, He shall direct our paths.

How do we acknowledge Him? By simply asking what His stance is on the matter.

And as we ask, it is important that we are still and attentive  to hear His response.  And God speaks in many ways, it could be through a still small voice, a scripture, a physical sign…anything. It’s our responsibility to be open, quiet and patient to hear what He says. 

Despite my mistakes, I can say that I am past the ‘beat myself up phase’ and I’m now in the ‘okay God, what next, where do we go from here’ stage?

 

 

I have learnt hearing from God requires you to purposefully submit your will and desire to His. This means the desire to run to others, satisfy our emotions, push for our agenda, must take the subordinate position under His will. 

In truth and with love

Faith xox

Times and Seasons

blog-post-13-34-of-41blog-post-13-32-of-41 Let’s rewind back to Friday morning, it was 02.12.16.  I was walking to the tube station for work and as usual I had a number of thoughts going through my head.

3 significant events occurred that morning which got me thinking more.   

 

1.   I was going through an Instastory of a friend.  I saw that she was at an interesting location, so I sent her a message saying, ‘Well done’. Instantly, she dismissed the well done and responded, ‘no a colleague invited me to that event.  But amen, I receive the prophesy.’ 
I went on to remind her that ‘lucky breaks’ are the fruit of our labour; because we consistently work hard, we are prepared for the break when it is presented to us. I explained that I was actually congratulating her for the consistent hard work and effort I’ve noticed.

2.   I was looking through my WhatsApp contacts and my God-sister had this image up which read:

‘Dear God, restore to me everything that I lost and messed up due to my immaturity’. 

Interesting, I thought. How many things have I mishandled due to my immaturity and lack of wisdom?  How many things have I let slide because I was too inexperienced to reach out and grab it?

 

3.   As I sat down on the train, I read the Word for Today, which reported the story of wise ants (Full story can be found in Proverbs 6:6-8).  Ants prepare in the summer, while they have resources (light, warmth) for a time when things will be much harder (shorter days to work, colder and darker nights).  They are wise because they understand times and seasons.  They realise the necessary time to work, and the appropriate time to relax and play.  The writer of that text was really highlighting the importance of preparation.  He bluntly expressed life is not a dress rehearsal, so you don’t get a second chance.  You either make it work the first time round or have a poor quality show, which is true.

 

He posed these questions which resonated with me:

‘If God gave you everything you’re praying for right now, would you be ready to handle it?

Nothing great is created suddenly; success doesn’t occur overnight. And neither does failure. Each is a process.

The fact is, every day of your life is preparation for the next.

 So the question is what are you preparing for, and how are you preparing? Are you grooming yourself for success or failure?’

 

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Now fast forward to today. I have just got off a nearly 2 hour conversation with a friend.  During this conversation we briefly spoke about the appropriate times and seasons to do certain things.  She reminded me of ‘the good things’ in life which we deprive ourselves of having because we have not tapped into the opportunities of the time and season.

I’m sure most of us have heard preachers in Church say ‘This is your time!’  This is your season! These phrases slightly erk me, because it’s so overused and soo cliché.  People say it all the time and more people are quicker to shout Amen, without realising what they are agreeing to.

 

I sat and asked myself:

Do you actually understand times and seasons of your life? 

I answered myself: ‘I don’t’

Because if I did I would be doing things very differently to the way I am.  My speech, mindset and actions will all reflect my time and season. 

For example, if I was pregnant with child, pregnancy would be the season I was in, right? All I do would be a reflection of that season.  The things I spoke about would probably be baby related. I would probably start speaking to others that are pregnant or have recently given birth to glean information and advice. My mindset would be geared towards motherhood. My actions would probably include buying baby things, getting my house ready for the new baby etc.    

Now, the time- would be when I give birth.  The delivery date.  The moment the baby comes out.

The time is when the season has fully manifested; this peak is the specific point that marks the end of one season and the beginning of another.

 

Moving forward….

1.     I need to analyse my life to identify what is going on.  These happenings should indicate the season I am in. 

 

When the leaves turn brown we know it’s autumn.

When the fields turn white we know its winter. 

What are the things happening in my life?

What signs can I see?

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2.     I need to understand what this season means.  When it is spring we SEE the flowers.  But what does this mean? It means growth, new life because the sun gives us longer and warmer days and plants need this sunlight and the showers of rain in order to grow.  Which means this is the time of new things – new blooms, even new baby animals – because they have longer and warmer days to find food which helps survival.

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‘To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…’ 

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

 

When you know and understand the times and seasons of your life, you can work accordingly.

December is such a great month to do this stock take. I’m sure most of us are excited for Christmas and expectant for the New Year, but let’s not wait for January 1st to make the necessary changes.

 

  • Do not let immaturity rob you of something great.
  • Do not let being ill prepared rob you of your next big breakthrough.
  • Do not let insensitivity to the times and seasons rob you of your next big opportunity.

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Let’s learn from the wisdom of the ant and prepare in this season for the next.

Happy new month!

In truth and in love

Faith xox

 

Slow down not Shut down: 5 Stress Busting Tips

 

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Stress is something we all encounter; if you live in a city like London, it’s easy to find yourself always on the go; the hustle and bustle never really stops.

It’s important to identify stress as stress and work towards managing it.  Not recognising symptoms or acknowledging increasing stress levels can be dangerous.  Ever heard the saying ‘stress is a silent killer?’ well if you haven’t, I can tell you that it is.

When we read the story of creation, we are told that ‘…in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.’  (Exodus 20:11).

I don’t think God rested because He needed to, I think it was to demonstrate to us the importance of taking time out to Rest, Relax and Recover. 

‘Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.’ (Mark 2:27)

I believe these 3 Rs ought to be practised regularly. 

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Rewind a few weeks, I failed to realise my symptoms of stress. Why? Because I had been stressed before and didn’t think this time things had reached that level, in my eyes it was just the normal demands of everyday life.  My GP explained that there is a spectrum, and just because I wasn’t on the extreme end of breaking point, it didn’t negate the fact that I was still stressed. And I agreed.

 

In hindsight I was physically exhausted and mentally fatigued, so much so that my body didn’t even tell me to slow down; it told me to shut down!

These 5 tips helped me get myself back to optimal functioning.

1. Get Organised!

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I am a diary and notebook junkie.  I have am old fashioned so prefer to write things down as opposed to store them electronically.  My work diary never leaves my desk at work, my home diary lives under my pillow and I have a small carry around diary that lives in my bag.  Notebooks; I have these in abundance, for daily to-do lists, ideas, revelation, expenses- you name it I have a book for it.

Having all these organisers started to become counterproductive.  I had so many there was often a lack of harmony between them. So I cut back to 2! One diary for work and one for home.

 

It took me half a day to consolidate my to-do lists.  I sat down to write and schedule all important dates, appointments, meetings, lunch breaks (do not skip this!), life admin and time to rest.  I created a colour coded system that meant even if I glance at my diary I know what I would and should be doing. 
Whether it’s electronic or hardcopy, keep a diary and plan in advance what needs to be done.  

 

2. Ask for Help!

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We often walk around with an invisible ‘S’ on our chest like we can do it and be it all.  Reality check, we can’t!  Our frail bodes have limitations, and that is okay.  God knows this and is compassionate: ‘As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust’ (Psalm 103: 13-14).  This is why we work together as a team and care for one another; my weakness is someone else’s strength and vice versa.

‘ As it is, there are many parts, yet one body […] This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other’ (1 Corinthians 12:20-25).
                                                                                                    

If you can’t do it, if you don’t know how to do it, if you don’t have time to do it, ask for help! It is important that we understand this and utilise other parts of the body to help and assist us.

 

3. Eat Right.

When we are tired, fatigued and stressed our bodies crave sugar and fat. This boost of energy is very short lived, and often times we need more and more to satisfy the craving.

Let me tell you about Caffeine my friend and foe.  Caffeine fooled me into believing I was all there and strong.  I was wrong; I was often working on false energy, which was again short lived.

Because I do not believe in totally depriving yourself of most things. I did not give up my love for caffeine. I understand most things are okay in moderation: ‘So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God’ (1 Corinthians 10:31 ).

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So I just stopped overdoing it.  I reduced my caffeine intake from 4 cups of tea to 1 and 2 coffees to 1 per day.  I upped my water intake and forcefully incorporated more greens into my meals especially spinach and kale – for the iron. And to get the rest of my 5 a day, I incorporated fruits and veg into my snack time and drinks. 

4. Rest! Getting Enough Sleep Is Key. 

I recall a sermon that my pastor preached on being busy.  When talking about rest, he said something to the effect of ‘it’s not cool to live off 3-4 hours of sleep everyday’.  He was explaining that some people think you always have to be busy in order to be effective and successful, and comments such as ‘I’ve only slept for 3 hours doesn’t make you cool, it makes you a fool’.

Getting enough sleep, enjoying the fruits of our hard work is what God wants for us, ‘It is useless to get up early and to stay up late, eating the food of exhausting labour— truly he gives sleep to those he loves’ (Psalm 127:2 ).

Getting enough rest especially sleep is vital not only for one’s body to function optimally, but also aids spiritually alertness.  When we are worn out and weak it is easier to be caught off guard and tempted. 

 

5.  Spend time with God in His Word, in Prayer and in Fellowship with others. 

 

 

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When I feel stressed I find that my prayer life suffers, because I am so busy trying to meet deadlines and targets.  Not prioritising God causes me to go on a downward spiral.  Because the time I would spend with Him, most times isn’t spent doing anything worthwhile.  It’s usually spent stressing about what I need to do and haven’t done, and then I feel bad for ignoring that inner call to pray.

 

Time with God is important because it is a safe space where we can offload and fellowship with The One that is All Knowing and All Powerful.  If you need strength- He can give you strength.   Need wisdom? He’s got that too. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak (Isaiah 40:29).

When we feel tired and weary, He urges us to come to Him:

 

‘Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest’

(Matthew 11:28-30)

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I’ve shared my tips I’d love to know what you do to manage stress, please leave your comments below.

In truth and with love

 

Faith xox

Woman of my Word

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Before we get into this post, let me address the elephant in the room. I know in my ‘Commitment’ post I made a bold statement that I will post twice a week, which I haven’t.   I won’t bore you with details or roll out a load of excuses. I accept I may have spoken too soon, and with too much ambition when I made that statement.

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It’s easy to get carried away with words and promises which is why we are encouraged to be slow to speak (James 1:19).  God takes words very seriously; I mean He created heaven and earth with His word. All we see around us is evidence of the power of words (read the creation story in Genesis 1).

 

Being someone who is known for keeping their word is a noble and important characteristic.

Being someone who is known for keeping their word means that God can trust you to do what you say.

Being someone who is known for keeping their word helps in building relationships with others.

The scripture encourages us not to make oaths or swear on anything.  It’s quite simple God requires us to mean what we say and say what we mean, anything else e.g. ‘I swear’ is considered unnecessary: ‘And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black, All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.’ (Matthew 5:37)

When I map out the different things that make me who I am, there are particular phrases and descriptions that I desire to see more often.  I want to be known as:

 

‘A Woman of Integrity

A Woman of My Word’.

 

Let me share a story with you…

Recently, a close friend celebrated her birthday, I knew about her dinner for a while and had RSVP’d that I would be there.  Now, that particular day I also had other commitments, so I was stretched.  I had 4 places to go and one was a whole day affair. Throughout the day I was battling with myself as to whether I should go out to the dinner or not.  I was shattered from a long and emotionally draining week at work, my weekend was full of events I had to attend, plus I had things at home to sort out.  I felt the spirit constantly remind me that I said I would go so I had to honour my word and go.

Reluctantly, I decided that I would go.

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Now looking for a way out I asked a friend what she thought I should do. I explained how tired I was and all the other things I had to do, unmoved she said:  ‘Go!  Be a woman of integrity.  When you say you are going to do something, do it!’

I rolled my eyes and said, ‘you’re so annoying; I was hoping you’d tell me to go home and rest’.

She replied, ‘ermm why would I do that, I’m learning to be a woman of my word, so why would I tell you otherwise?’

So I made that long journey to her dinner.

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I didn’t stay for long, I wished her happy birthday gave her a present, had a little chit-chat and then left.

On the way home, I started moaning about the long journey and how tired I felt. 

I literally felt the Spirit of God reprimand me for moaning and reminded me that:

To be trusted because of your word is a great honour.

 

God says He honours His Word more than His name.  This just shows the weight He places on what He says He will do, Whom He says He is and regards this more important than What He is.

And He is a lot of great things:

  • Strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle – Psalm 24:8 
  • The Lord is Faithful – 2 Thessalonians 3:3
  • Holy and Almighty – Revelation 4:8
  • God is love – 1 John 4:7
  • God is Sovereign – Jeremiah 32:17

 

We often use the saying ‘actions speak louder than words’, which basically mean words that do not materialise or accomplish what they are purposed to do are meaningless.

Therefore, it is important to choose your words wisely, be careful with your words; say what you mean, and mean what you say.

 

Just a few questions to ask yourself

  • What do your words say about you?
  • When you speak, do people take it with a pinch of salt?
  • Do they second guess you?
  • Or do people take you for your word?
  • Can they rely on you?
  • Do they believe you?
  • Can they trust you?
  • Can God trust you?

 

As we strive towards being men and women of integrity, let’s work on the words that come out of our mouth.

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Let the words that come out of our mouths be true.  Let them be as binding as a contract, meaning we should perform and follow through with the action, or agreement made.

If people cannot trust us with the small things we say, how do we expect to be trusted with bigger, more important things?

In truth and with love,

Faith xox

 

Faith’s Guide