Faith’s Guide

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2018

08.01.18. Day 8 already!

Happy new year everyone.

I’m sure some are already tired of hearing ‘Happy New Year’.  I’m one of those people that continues to wish people a happy new year well into March! If I have not seen you in the new year, whether it be mid February or late March you will most certainly receive new year salutations from me.

Earlier last week one of my Pastor’s posted on Instagram that before wishing her followers a happy new year she meditated on what she was actually saying. Yesterday at Church, the senior pastor along the same lines spoke about the weight our words carry and how greetings such as happy new year are  almost said with no true conviction. 

With this in mind, I genuinely wish you all a very Happy New Year. A year filled with the blessings of God. May He make all things new and beautiful for you and to you this year.

 

In all my reflections of the last year, I can truly testify that God indeed answers prayers. Though it may tarry and take longer than we expect, He is true to His Word.

 

Last year I saw the manifestation of this scripture:

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,so shall my word be

that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I

purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

(Isaiah 55: 10-11)

If He says He’s going to do it, trust me (well trust Him) He will do it.

To trust in Him means to surrender it all to Him. When we offer our prayers, make our applications and requests known to Him we need to leave it there at His feet and trust that:‘And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose’ (Romans 8:28).

I’m sure many of us have major plans, goals, vision boards and all that good stuff set for 2018. I pray that whatever is in our hearts, whatever we desire God will grant us this year and more.

And whatever the year has in store, just remember that ‘many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails’ (Proverbs 19:21).

That being said know God has got you 100% this year, hold on to what He has said and remember He will never leave you or forsake you (Joshua 1:5).

 

Happy new year!

In truth and with love 

Faith xox

 

 

Perspective Vs. Reality

A few weeks ago I was in ‘panic-I’m-not-good-enough-everyone-is-better-smarter-more-able-than-I-am’ mode.  This was triggered by being in new terrains, a new place that explicitly placed a non-negotiable demand of ‘more’.  I simply was required to be and do more. 

Being in a new place often means being stretched, which can be quite a frightening experience, especially when you have not been stretched to such capacities before. This, well at least for me, triggers a train of thoughts, or rather a train of questions such as:

Can I or will I cope?

Will I succeed? 

Am I capable of the task ahead?

Do I deserve to be here?

Am I here by mistake?

Am I qualified?

Will I fail?

Will I crumble at the first major challenge? 

And so on.

A few weeks ago, I asked myself these questions and many others on a daily basis.  I was now in a place surrounded by a group of people that I perceived to be smarter, brighter, and more articulate. Don’t worry this is not a pity me post I’m not about that ‘woe is me’ life.  But I did know by virtue of being part of this group, I was expected to perform at the same level, and deliver to at least the same standards as my new peers.  

As the expectation sank in I saw myself slowly retracting and cowering.  A part of me was afraid by the threat of where I was and who I was not. And the other part of me was actively trying to fight the intimidation and overcome the fear. By trying. Let’s just say the latter part of this conflict was the lesser part so I felt small and inadequate.  
I thank God that giving up is not really part of my life’s mantra. But I am still queen of excuses, stalling, procrastinating and avoidance.  I knew very well that these techniques and my current state of mind was not helpful in navigating this new season of life.  So I took myself to the Lord in prayer, explicitly stating all my fears, insecurities and concerns one by one.   
  
During this emotional and vulnerable time of pouring out, I was reminded of a story in Numbers 13 that deals with intimidation and fear.  
 
For those of you unfamiliar with the story I ‘ll give you a brief run through. 

The Israelites had left Egypt and were in the wilderness. They were on the cusp of transitioning from the desert place to the Promised Land.  In this particular passage, God told Moses to send men to scout out the country of Canaan; the land He had promised to Abraham that his people (the Israelites) would possess.  God instructed Moses to send one man from each ancestral tribe, each one a tried-and-true leader in the tribe.” So Moses sent them off from the Wilderness of Paran at the command of God. All of them were leaders in Israel, one from each tribe (taken from Numbers 13:1-2, The Message translation).  

Let’s pause for a brief moment. I want you to imagine you were one of the Israelites.  Imagine you have been in this dry, desolate place for a while, and all you have been clinging on to is the hope and expectation that God was taking you to a new place. A much better place.  A place of abundance. A place where there are plenty of resources, opportunities. A place where you will thrive and be established.  

You have now been told by your leader that the Promised Land in nigh, but before possessing and moving into the land, a few men will go and have a quick browse of what is there and report back to the rest of the clan.  

 

I would like to think if I was amongst the men that were sent to scout the land I would eagerly get myself together with a positive mindset, a confident attitude (because this land has been promised to me after all) and come back with great feedback of our new home.  


This wasn’t the case in this story. You had Caleb – who was like, ‘YEP! Let’s get it! We are ready to possess the land’. But the others, the majority were struck by ‘what they saw’ and thus came back disheartened and discouraged. 
 
I want you to hold this in the back of your mind for a moment – the thought of entering this Promise Land was not their thought, or idea. It was a Word that was given to them by The One who delivered them from Egypt.  So you know it has come from a completely reliable source- based on past experience of successful deliverance and freedom.That in itself should give have given them enough confidence to go forth, right? But instead of going and returning with that confidence, the men, the leaders get there and become intimidated and afraid. 

27-29 – “We went to the land to which you sent us and, oh! It does flow with milk and honey! Just look at this fruit! The only thing is that the people who live there are fierce, their cities are huge and well fortified. Worse yet, we saw descendants of the giant Anak. Amalekites are spread out in the Negev; Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites hold the hill country; and the Canaanites are established on the Mediterranean Sea and along the Jordan.” 
30 – Caleb interrupted, called for silence before Moses and said, “Let’s go up and take the land—now. We can do it.” 
31-33 –  “But the others said, “We can’t attack those people; they’re way stronger than we are.” They spread scary rumours among the People of Israel. They said, “We scouted out the land from one end to the other—it’s a land that swallows people whole. Everybody we saw was huge. Why, we even saw the Nephilim giants (the Anak giants come from the Nephilim). Alongside them we felt like grasshoppers. And they looked down on us as if we were grasshoppers.” 
  

In reading this passage I was reminded that Perspective and Reality are two different things. 
Caleb went to scout the same land as the other men, but he came back with a different report.  
 
Why? 
 
Simple. It’s all about perspective. 
  
The perspective of these men were they were inferior, smaller, ‘grasshoppers’. 
  
First of all, the reality was they were not grasshoppers they were humans. That was an objective fact.  They were also not inferior, in fact they had the upper hand because they had The Lord of Host on their side, but they could not see that. 
  
As I reflected on this, I started to think about my situation and reasoned my perspective was just that, my perspective which was not an accurate representation of reality. 
   

And so I began thinking about things that affect one’s perspectives: 
 
1. Knowledge of who you are and what you’ve got. 

  • But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).  
  • No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you (Joshua 1:5). 

2. Understanding of the situation and what exactly is required of you (note: what is required is different from what you think is required.) 

 

3. Where you’re standing (or sitting) – We know that if we are in a place where our view of what is ahead is obstructed, our description of what we can see will not be a full account of what is actually before us.  It will be limited to the fragments we see because of the subordinate position we look from.

 

4. Previous experiences – This can include past failures and past successes.  It is important that we should not fall into the snare of generalising. One or even a few failures does not necessarily mean you will always fail. Let us refrain from predicting the future based on one or two instances. 
5. Belief system – What do you believe and more importantly in Whom do you believe?  

6. The eyes of those around you –  There is an old African Proverb that says something along the lines of, an elder can see more sitting down than a child can standing up.  I should have Googled the actual phrase before inserting it, but the main point is that even when your eyes or your vision fail, it is good, actually it is important to have those around you who can see beyond your limitations.  Through their experience and wisdom they can help guide and push you towards the goals ahead.   
 
 

   
The Spirit reminded me that just like these men, my perspective was negatively skewed.  The reality is like these men I did have the upper hand because ‘greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world’ (1 John 4:4).  So my reality in this case was that I had, well have a secret weapon, and despite my inadequacies and shortcomings The One who resides in me covers all of that and will enable me to stand in the midst of people and shine. 
 
So having considered the facts of the situation I reasoned:  

 

  • I was there – so I must fulfil the criteria of what they were looking for 
  •  I went through the same application and testing experience as my peers and made it through, as they did. So my being there was not a mistake. 

 

 

I was reminded of these scriptures:  

“Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”

(Romans 10:11) 
  
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

(Joshua 1:9) 
  
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. 

(Psalm 9:10)
 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 

(Proverbs 3:5-6)
  

As I pondered on these scriptures I thought how would God look if He instructed them to go scout the land that He said He was going to give them, then allow them to be consumed and defeated by the inhabitants of that land? Let’s take spirituality out of it for a moment, if you instruct someone to go out and do something, one would be right to think that you are equipped to support and render provisions needed to succeed in that pursuit, right?  Seems like a fairly logical way of thinking, but when in panic mode, or when being confronted by a new challenge this rational way of thinking is sometimes no where to be found.  
  
I took a step back and thought to myself, The One who has put me here surely would not leave me, will He? I mean He honours His Word more than His name (Psalm 138:2).  Him promising that I am with you always, even unto the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). He actually means He is with us throughout, even in our darkest, loneliest and most insecure state He is there. 
  

 
As we consider where we are individually, or even collectively in these last few weeks running up to the end of the year we may feel like grasshoppers in comparison to the magnitude of what we have left to face or achieve.  Just to encourage you, our reality is not necessarily what we see or hear, but our reality is what we find in God’s Word. 
 
I have been constantly reminding myself The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Because His endures forever; And he does not forsake the works of His hands.  Therefore, we need to be confident that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6). 
 
In truth and with love 
  
Faith xox 

World MENTAL HEALTH DAY 2017

In light of it being World Mental Health day, it only seems right that I dedicate this post to a topic I am very passionate about: Mental Health. 

This year’s theme is: ‘Mental Health In The Workplace’, which is great because for many of us our working hours make up most of our week, and most of our adult life.  So difficulties in the workplace could very well have an impact on our mental wellbeing, and similarly stressors in life, can impact our mental wellbeing.

I’m sure most of us are aware of the statistics that ‘1 in 4 people  in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives’ (WHO, 2001) . UK stats suggest 1 in 4 will experience a mental health problem each year, and in England 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (such as anxiety and depression) in any given week. And if we take a step back again, international  stats suggest that more than 300 million people suffer from depression, which is one of the leading cause of disability worldwide.  And more than 260 million are living with anxiety disorders. 

‘1 in 4’ means this is a lot closer to home than we think, it could be you or me, in a group of four, one of us is bound to experience a mental health difficulty.

Despite the prevalence of mental health difficulties in our communities, ‘mental health’, ‘depression’, ‘anxiety’, suicide’ are still considered dirty words that shouldn’t be said aloud or shared in public.  If they are shared, the sharer runs the risk of being shunned. Ostracised. Marginalised. Ignored. Labelled: Mad, Crazy, Psycho. Why?  Because  mental health issues is a private affair, not to be discussed in public.  

It’s funny how differently mental and physical illnesses are treated. 

 We can empathise with someone who has sustained a physical injury or has been diagnosed with a physical medical issue. If I broke my arm or  suffered third degree burns I would have a rally of support from professionals as well as family and friends. Sadly, the story changes as soon as we mention mental health; alarm bells raise, barriers come up, defences are on full blast, employers are not empathic or understanding. We distance ourselves. We don’t understand. We don’t want to understand. Out come comments of judgement, condemnation, blame, which breed feelings of shame, embarrassment and guilt. 

For a moment I want us to put labels, diagnosis and stats in the bottom drawer of the cabinet. Because behind these labels, challenges and difficulties are people. People just like you and me. People who are going through a tough time. Many who feel ashamed to talk about it, sad, scared and alone.

I don’t know many people who would want to wake up with thoughts of suicide and self harm. Do you? 

Or people who desire to think life is not worth living?

Or do you know anyone who would want to feel so on edge and panicked they are not able to carry out their daily activities?

I think I can confidently speak for those of us that have felt really low, or  experienced periods of extreme anxiety so much so that our lives came to a halt…I’m pretty sure we did not want to feel like that or go through those times.

Yet when people feel like this we tend to blame them. When people pluck up the courage to share how they feel, we dismiss it, shut them down,  or tell them to get over it.

I for one am not over it, because:

Mental Health issues are real!

Depression is real!

Anxiety is real!

It exists in every society and culture.

Oh and guess what it even exists in the Christian community! 

It may be called different things but I guarantee you it exists! 

Let’s think how we would like to be treated if we were going through challenges or periods of distress…this should guide how we  treat others.

“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

(Luke 6:31)

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

 (John 15:12)

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” 

(Matthew 7:12)

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  “(Philippians 2:4)

 

So in line with this years theme; let’s look after ourselves, and each other. 

Let us not just speak about our challenges, or mental health issues amongst our friends and family, BUT let’s take these discussions to our workplace, social settings and schools.

Let us not only continue talking about it, let’s embrace those dealing with challenges by providing a safe, non-judgemental space for them to talk and just be.

Before I close, I thought I would share some symptoms to look out for: 

Depression:

Anxiety:

 

Also, know YOUR personal triggers. Have you noticed a change in your mood, appetite, daily routine, bodily symptoms?  These could be indicators of stress and challenges.  Are you or have you gone through a particularly rough time? 

If you are struggling with low mood, or feelings of anxiety and distress, please talk to someone.

Trust me, there are people out there who care and WANT to help!

You can:

Talk to your GP,

Family, friends, colleagues you trust

There are also services you can contact for support such as:

The Samaritans:

UK – 116 123

In the Republic of Ireland: 116 123 (free to call)

https://www.samaritans.org

 MIND

Infoline provides information on a range of topics including:

  • types of mental health problems
  • where to get help
  • medication and alternative treatments
  • advocacy.

0300 123 3393

Lines are open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

[email protected]

 

SANE:

0300 304 7000 (Open every day of the year from 4:30pm to 10:30pm).

http://www.sane.org.uk/home

 

For urgent medical attention, your options are Accident & Emergency (A&E) and Emergency GP appointments.

For urgent medical advice you can call the NHS 111 (England) or NHS Direct (Wales).

 Please look after yourself and do not be ashamed to reach out for help if you are struggling.  

 

In truth and with love,

Faith xox

REST IN HIM

I would like to get straight into storytelling, but I realise that I probably owe you (well those of you that are interested) an explanation as to where I have been these last few months.

Apart from a few quick trips, the majority of my time was spent buried in books.  I had essays, exams that kind of stuff.  Thank God that season is over; although I should have communicated my whereabouts at the time, so please accept my apologies.

I have missed writing, sharing, and generally ranting so I am very happy to be back.

In these last few months a number of significant things have happened – I’ll start with my birthday.

I love birthdays.

I am a birthday card (and letter) hoarder, I’m sure I have a card stash dating back at least 10 years.  And it is mandatory I celebrate, I mean, God has given me another year of life (which is even more of a blessing in this current climate), more opportunities to fulfil purpose, pursue my dreams, live for Him. He has kept me and is still keeping me. I could go on and on, so why would I not mark the occasion?

This year as usual, I was excited – with lots of plans of what I’ll be doing and whom I would be celebrating with.
However, the days before my birthday were met with some devastating news.

 

I remember being in the taxi on my way home from the airport receiving a text from a loved one. It was horrible; my heart immediately sank into the depths of my stomach.  Unable to process what I just read, I closed the chat and tried to block it out.   The following days seemed to be littered with more bad news.

Generally, I would say I am adept at coping and problem solving in challenging situations.  But, this time I had no fight, no energy, and no strength.

All plans and activities went out of the window.

 

I was consumed with equal measure of apathy and deep sadness.  The afternoon of my birthday whilst in my favourite store a rush of emotion gripped me and I found myself on the floor in the changing room in tears asking ‘God…why?!’ This question ushered in the first of many lessons.

Lesson 1:

Nothing, Absolutely Nothing Catches God By Surprise!

“I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.”

(Isaiah 46:10)

Nothing ever shocks God. Nothing that happens ever catches Him off guard. Nothing that happens ever sends Him into a state of panic or confusion. Lesson 1 reminded me that He has ordained things from ‘ancient times’, and whatever happens, it has been permitted by Him and is probably in line with His will.
Still overwhelmed by events and emotions I woke up the morning after my birthday and decided I needed to get away, and that is what I did. It was spontaneous – or as my friend described, “Impulsive”, but knowing myself I knew it was what I needed.

I personally find when things get a bit too chaotic and overwhelming I need to physically step out of the situation or place in order to gain clarity and better understand the situation.

Lesson 2:

Know Yourself.

Everyone has a breaking point, and it is important to know your warning signs

This will help mitigate the intensity and impact of a fully-fledged breakdown. I’ll expand a little; before enough becomes enough and you become maimed with the inability to do anything, slow down.  Identify what’s happening, analyse what these happenings mean (check out my post on how to do this) and ask God to help you navigate through the situation.

 It is better to deal with the situation than let the situation deal with you.

Growing up my mum often told me that the world doesn’t stop because you have decided to stop.  I have reasoned this to be very true, deadlines do not go on vacation because you have decided it’s all too much, and neither do the demands of life come to a halt because you are struggling to cope. Therefore, it is critical to ‘Know Yourself So You Can Look After Yourself’.

 

Lesson 3:

Fellowship, led by The Spirit.

 

Quick note: Fellowship does not necessarily mean sitting down with a Bible, highlighter, pens and a journal. To me, it means spending time with God and Godly companions, to encourage and build each other up. When low I have found fellowship helpful in giving me ammunition to deal with tough situations.  And when disoriented it provides a forum to see things with more clarity and from different perspectives.

 

It is important that fellowship is spirit led, thus it is critical to cultivate a bond, a living relationship with The Spirit of God to guide and direct you.

 

I believe you need the right people speaking into your life and in your space especially during spiritually vulnerable or volatile times. Being led by The Spirit of God means following who God is directing you towards or accepting whom God is bringing to you.  This may not be the usual people you turn to, but these people may have just what you need at that particular point and specific season.

This ‘impulsive’ trip led me to reunite with a good friend.  Because we hadn’t seen each other in a while we planned all sorts.  But, we both concluded that our busy itinerary of beach, photoshoot for the blog, dinner, spa, shopping should be put to the side as we let the Holy Spirit take control.

Instead of our SATC style weekend, we talked, prayed, went for coffees, sat on the swings and pretty much talked some more. This time of fellowship, bought healing, clarity, guidance and direction.  Because I was away I was more aware of what God was saying to me, there were fewer distractions, less buzzing of my phone, less email alerts.  I was able to better connect and engage with all that was going on around and within me.   For instance, I attended a Bible study with a group of women I have never met, and probably would not see again, and I saw the manifestation of:

” The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way’’

(Psalm 37: 23)

I say this because their theme for that day was so relevant to the season I was in.

Upon reflection, if I had stayed home and not taken this ‘impulsive’ trip I may have missed what I needed to hear and experience for not only the season I was in, but the season I was going into.  Being able to hear God when He speaks to you is incredibly important, and it is equally important to acknowledge God speaks diverse ways.  We must be open and not restrict how He speaks to us.  The unfamiliar nudges to go or strange prompts to do may be contain the answer we need.

I have learnt that there is no magic formula to hearing from God, we are striving for a genuine relationship, and as with any functional relationship there is freedom and diversity.  The only formula that we really need to apply is:

> Quality time spent with God = a deeper and > tangible relationship.

Lesson 4:

Wait On God And Trust Him.

Whilst away – I spent time on my own, I prayed, read the Word, listened to exhortations, journaled and all the rest of it.  But I also spent a lot of time waiting in silence.  Often times we pray, talk, vent, cry, all without stopping to hear what God has to say. Whilst praying I was reminded of the scripture:

‘He says:

“Be still, and know that I am God”

(Psalm 46:10)

This scripture  resonated with me because I thought God is not an inanimate object or thing; He is Spirit and He is alive. Because He is alive, He speaks, not just through His Word, but He can also speak with and to me.  Thus, I needed to turn my one sided monologues into a participatory dialogue.

 

Now, I have to say sitting and waiting can sometimes be awkward, but after overcoming that hurdle I usually find the next mountain is trust.  Trusting Him to do what He says He will do; difficult, but I constantly remind myself of this:

‘God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfil?’

(Numbers 23:19)

The final lesson…

Lesson 5:

Rest In Him!

 

One thing my friend continued to say to me whilst there was ‘Rest in Him’.  As I came back and the days (now weeks) unfolded I realised this was the Word I needed. It is where God required me to be (a beautiful place might I add). A place which the ‘I-Must-Understand-And-Be-In-Control’ part of me failed to recognise.

 

And this is my theme for the next stage of my life – Rest In Him! It took a trip to a new place to understand what He had been saying all along.

He said to us:

 


As I reflect on Him as The Author and Finisher of my faith (Hebrew 12:2), I am beginning to accept that He has already written out the pages of my life.  He knows the end from the beginning and the beginning from the end.  All I am required to do is to relax and trustingly turn each page as and when He prompts.

 

In truth and with love

 

Faith xox

 

 

INTIMACY (Part 1)

I enjoy going for prayer walks, mainly because I’m such a busybody I struggle to sit down and zone out on just one task. So I often combine two activities together, I find it to be a good way to maximise time and resources. And prayer walks satisfy both the spiritual and physical.

So the Friday just gone, I took myself on an extra long one of those walks; playlist set, prayer list at hand then I set off.
To be honest that’s not how it started.  What really happened was I was forced to go on the walk before I combusted.

I spent the whole week feeling really heavy. A sort of heaviness that I struggled to articulate, a heaviness that was written all over my face and demeanour. This despondency came from the feeling of helplessness. There were things happening around me, that made me feel in plain English – SAD. And most of these things were beyond my control.

Have you ever felt like wanting, wishing, needing to do something that you just couldn’t? Well, that was me.  I can be a bit of a control freak (call it first born syndrome) so when things are beyond me I stress out. 

Now, I love detail. When telling a story or engaging in conversation I need want to know all the ‘whats, wheres, hows and whys’. And this doesn’t stop at the factual stuff. I want to know the internal processes too, this includes feelings, emotions, physical sensation. Everything. I like to know it all. I mean it helps me to build an accurate picture of what actually happened which usually informs my next move. 
But this time, I was not privy to this information, and I felt useless and despondent. I wanted to know it all so I could lend myself and help….but I just couldn’t. 

 

In reaching the height of my restlessness birthed from my inability to change or influence the situation I said a brief prayer.  This was mainly to fulfil all righteousness- and by that I mean a quick talk to (not with) God because I knew it was the right thing to do, even though I really did not want to.

This brief conversation brought to the surface an internal battle that I had tried to suppress all week.  

Whenever I felt the urge or call to pray about this situation I tried to blank it out. What I did instead was talk to friends, which was interesting because I was not really talking to them about the issue, because I couldn’t fully disclose the situation. So, all I got was a temporary relief from the build up of emotions I was experiencing, but it didn’t actually solve or help the situation.

So back to this Friday- I had reached breaking point and I resolved that I need to calm down and express exactly how I felt to God, so I started my walk.

 

3 minutes in I realised that I skirted around the issue this week by saying lots of quick prayers because I was not ready or willing to be vulnerable.

Intimacy is something that I struggle with in most of my relationships, not all, but the majority (when I mean relationships I mean with family, friends, colleagues, partners etc).  I understand that each relationship has varying levels of intimacy, you cannot be open or confide in any and everyone, that would be quite foolish. Knowing whom and when to open up requires maturity and a discerning spirit (topic for another day).
Before talking about what the problem was, I explored the barriers that prevented me from opening up in the first place and the things that generally hinder me opening up to people I should.

I have this motto that I live by when it comes to sharing:

‘if it is not beneficial to the person I am sharing with or if they cannot provide a solution – then there is no point in sharing’. 

And that has been my sharing/intimacy mantra, until this prayer walk.
I learnt that some things need to be shared, even if the person cannot provide a solution and even if it is not the thing that will ‘set them free’ from captivity.

 

Some things need to be shared because: 

sharing and intimacy is the bedrock of any meaningful relationship

It shows trust which is an essential ingredient necessary for the growth and development of any relationship.

Now, God, our Father ‘knows what you need before you ask him’ (Matthew 6: 8). We know He knows what we’re going to say before we even say it, so it must not matter that much whether we say it or not right?
Wrong.

It matters a whole lot because it shows we trust. In sharing we are effectively transferring control of the situation from our incapable hands into His all powerful and very much able hands.

 

Sharing is a choice.

Intimacy is a choice.

 

We are not forced into relationship with Him. He doesn’t coerce us to pray- it is something we have the liberty to do, or not to do.

Intimacy comes at a price.

It costs ‘self’ because it means laying pride and ego to the side and showing another side to you. I was tempted to type the ‘real’ you, but realised we have different parts that make us who we are, and our public face is not necessarily our ‘fake face’, and neither is our private self our ‘real self’.

Intimacy means being up close and personal

An intimate relationship is a transparent one.

Transparency means being vulnerable. 

 

 

Being vulnerable means being brave – because you’re taking a chance on the person you’re confiding in – if it’s God, there is absolutely nothing to worry about, but if it’s (hu)man, the there’s always a risk of being hurt and betrayed.  But sometimes that risk is necessary for the relationship to grow to another level.
Whilst on this walk I realised that it did not matter how I described my feelings,  what I said, if I was coherent or a hot mess.  All these factors were irrelevant.  What mattered was the choice I made to share.

 

 

I hope to talk more about intimacy…so stay posted for part 2. If you haven’t already subscribed, please do so, it means you will be alerted when the latest post goes live.

In truth and with love

Faith xox

Faith’s Guide