FREEDOM IN FORGIVENESS

Finding Freedom in Forgiveness

Ever been burnt, betrayed by someone you love and trusted? I’m sure these are experiences many, if not all of us can relate to.  


During a recent trip away, I reflected on a conversation I had with my sister about someone I (was going to say used to love, but I still do) love.  In this moment I realised how conversations or thoughts about the person does not trigger any negative emotions.  There was no sign of hurt, bitterness or anger, I felt neutral, even happy at what I had heard.  It dawned on me that I had forgiven them. 

A few weeks prior I attended a Christian conference (Sorting Out’. I highly recommend) and one of the speakers spoke on forgiveness.  To be honest he shared things I had heard many times before, but it was good to have the message of forgiveness being a choice and essential reinforced. 



I thought of a particular person I had struggled to forgive.  I recall psyching myself up; I had to let go.

Finding Freedom through Forgiveness

Part of me didn’t want to. I mean my anger and resentment was justified…but then I thought to myself:


How long? 

How much longer will I harbour these feelings?

Why am I choosing to inflict myself with this pain?


Forgiveness Is A Choice.

 


I was essentially choosing to hurt myself by holding on to this pain.

Find healing and peace when you forgive

It’s like someone (spitefully) giving you a ball and telling you to hold it and squeeze it tightly. The moment you begin to squeeze pins shoot out of the ball; causing injuries, and a great deal of pain. 


In this situation there are two choices:

  • continuing to hold on to the ball with the spikes, causing more pain and additional cuts. 
  • Or letting go of the ball; attend to your wounds, moving on, and with time allowing the wounds to close up and heal.  


 

Yes, after a while, you may still see marks, and scars of the wounds. But, the pain (especially at the level of intensity when the spikes cut you) can no longer be felt. And that’s often the experience of forgiveness; there may be things that remind you of what happened. But the lack of pain associated with these reminders is evidence of you letting go in forgiveness, and moving forward towards full healing.

You have the choice to hold on and continuously hurt yourself or you can choose to let go and give your hurt a chance to heal. 

 


Just to note, attending to the wound, is not permission to go over the hurt, or things that were done/said to you.  It’s about caring for yourself! This may be through prayer. It may mean thinking about creating certain boundaries, having accountability partners, going for therapy.  

 


Dressing The Wounds Is About You, And Your Healing. 



Back to that conference, I made a decision to let go and forgive. I prayed a simple and short prayer that God will help me by His grace to let go, move on and not remember things with bitterness, anger, hatred or hurt anymore. 

Today as I write this I think about the conversation I had with my sister and I see that I have actually forgiven. 

 

You Are Free When You Forgive

In this forgiveness I have found freedom; of my emotions, heart, and valuable head space.  

 

There is a special peace of mind that comes with forgiveness, and with this, I can genuinely say I wish this person all the very best of God’s blessings.  

I know forgiveness can be hard, especially when it seems like it’s justified. Trust me the best thing you can do is make the choice to let go and forgive. Ask God to help you, you will find His grace at hand to help you through this process.  And in forgiving, you will find freedom. 

 
In truth and with love,

Faith xox

 

The Pursuit of Love

 

February, the Month of Love ♥

It’s that season when some of us are Boo’d up, and the rest…hmm not quite, but we’re still happy.

 

One thing I love about love is The Pursuit.  You know when you’re just getting to know someone, there’s this relentless pursuit.  The constant calls, the WhatsApp messages back and forth, the lengthy texts.

It’s exciting, it’s new, you’re hooked, and you want to be around the person ALL the time.

You want to speak to them all day, you look forward to seeing them.  Dates are fun, even when they just consist of quiet walks where no-one is saying much.  Just the presence of the other person brings a sense of satisfaction, and happiness.

 

Goodbyes can be hard, even when you know they are just temporary. New love is amazing.

And then somehow, things slow down.

You kind of get ‘used’ to being with each other, the new things aren’t so novel anymore.  The little cute things slowly lose their spark. The love hasn’t necessarily diminished, but the overt and elaborate expressions of love have…

Whilst most would agree the pursuit should never stop, the reality is that it does.  It’s the sad trajectory of a lot of human relationships.

If you think keeping the momentum in a relationship is tough (and expensive), try maintaining that same energy in a relationship with a faulty foundation.  The ‘love’ will peak quickly, before it rapidly and sometimes hurtfully crashes.

If you find yourself pursuing a ‘love’ in a [hu]man because of loneliness, discontentment, insecurity, hurt – I can almost guarantee you will not find what you’re looking for.  At first things may seem amazing, but beyond the surface you will realise ‘that love’ will not make you feel complete, valued, fulfilled or healed.  Pursuing love ‘just because’, can get messy and leave you broken.

To those who are happy in love, continue to celebrate each other in love, commending the good in one another, and in love covering weaknesses.

And if you are not in a good place this Valentine’s Day, if you are unhappily single (because being single is not a bad thing – another post for another day), nursing a heartbreak, going through challenges in your relationship you are most likely not alone.  Do not let this day ‘highlight’ all the things the things you lack, or things that are wrong.  Instead bask in the knowledge that:


He loves you with an everlasting love.

(Jeremiah 31:3)


Yesterday at the Bible study I attend we were looking a this scripture and thinking about it is really mind blowing:  

 

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature[a] God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

(Philippians 2: 5-8)

 

Imagine leaving your home which is full of glory, comfort, complete luxury and every other great and incredible you can think of to go to a place that is the total opposite.  And on top of that you’re subjected to all sorts of abuse, ridiculed, mocked, beaten – all for the sake of LOVE.  Despite the sacrifice of leaving your glorious home, you’re rejected by the ones you came to show and give this Love to.  It doesn’t discourage you, the rejection gives you more oomph to keep pursuing….now that is the definition of LOVE.

Complete Selflessness. Complete Sacrifice. That is Love.

The breadth, and depth of the love of God is crazy!! Too much for us to fully comprehend.  And what’s great about it, is that it’s unconditional


But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

(Romans 5:8)


It’s not limited to one day a year, but  it’s eternal.

True Love is liberating and is found in Jesus Christ.

 

His love for you is so wide and runs so deep, that you were and always are worth The PURSUIT.

Happy Valentine’s Day

In truth and with lots of love

Faith xox

20-MINE-TEEN. 2019 We Here!!

I remember this time last year one of my friends  named the year ‘20-gr8-teen’. I laughed and told her  several times that it was cheesy.

 

But in the final week of 2018, as a group of us sat down to talk about our year. I said, Remember when X said this was 20GR8Teen and we laughed, it was actually an amazing year for her.  As a friend we saw 5 main areas of her life flourish.

  1. Spiritual
  2. Financial
  3. Personal Development/Career
  4. Relationships
  5. Family

We saw God physically pick her up, move her geographically and bless her greatly in the aforementioned areas.

As the wise woman I am I told her I needed a word for 2019.  She replied….hmm I’m going to pray about it and I’ll get back to you. So she did and she came back with ‘20-MineTeen’. Before I allowed the fulness of my laughter to erupt I remembered Sarai (before she became Sarah) and how she laughed at the promises of God because it seemed cheesy and silly.  I also remembered my friend and her 2018 testimony. I wisely thanked her and during my personal prayer time with God asked Him for  a personal word.  Which confirmed the what she had declared.

It’s already day 3 of 2019 and the excitement still remains.  I have a great feeling about 2019, because ALL His promises are yay and Amen.

I wish you all a very prosperous new year.

May 2019  bring you lots of joy, happiness, blessings in abundance and every other good thing His Word promises.

 

I’ve got my word for 2019, and I’m about to run with it

 

In truth and with love

Faith xox

01.10.18

It’s been a minute since I have put my fingers to work on a post, and it feels…I’m not sure how it feels. But I’m gonna write and I hope you read. My aim is not to write  soley for entertainment purposes, but if you chuckle or smile whilst reading that is a definite bonus.  My aim is to encourage you to think, reflect and then act…make a move…hopefully towards God and the good things in life.
 


In the last few days, two beautiful women I know have passed on.  Two very unfortunate circumstances, and two sets of ‘they had so much more to live for’. 
 
Death doesn’t usually move me to tears, but yesterday I found myself hysterically saying to God that ‘this was unfair’. One of my biggest cheerleaders passed away yesterday, I thought about how much my cousin had achieved in her short time on earth. I thought of all she had given, and how much more she had to give. 

Achievement isn’t just about the accolades and tangible things you acquire, it is about the impact that you make. The way you inspire others, your ability to encourage and pull the best of those you meet.
My uncle wisely reminded me that while she was young, she lived a good life and this may have just been her time and we are to cherish the beautiful memories we shared.
 
Thinking about how kind, loving, caring and giving she was I went on Instagram and scrolled through one of my favourite bloggers page Kyrzayda Rodriguez.  I started following Kyrzayda a couple of years ago because I was in love with her hair, but she also had amazing style! But as she shared with us her battle with cancer, I had a new found love and respect for her.  Even in her dying days she kept working, to inspire us, to encourage us.  She fought the fight with cancer fiercely but with so much grace – to her followers and readers she never gave up, and even in her dying moments she wanted to continue giving.
 
I woke up today telling myself

 

 

You Mustn’t Stop Giving.  You Mustn’t Stop Doing. 

Do It For Yourself First, Then Do For Others. 


Whatever your ‘IT’ is, do it till you can’t do it anymore,  give it till you can no longer give it.
 
 

So my ‘doing it’ for today is putting out this post. I feel tempted to include disclaimers of the quality of this post, the images used…but this will be an excuse for me not giving it.
 
So today 01.10.18 I encourage you to DO IT, and give IT your absolute best shot.
 
Happy new month

 
In truth and with love,
 
Faith

HIS LOVE BUG

A few of my favourite scriptures that remind me of His love for me…


The Lord appeared to me from ages past, saying,
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.
“Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt […]
You will again be adorned […]

(Jeremiah 31:3-4)


[…] No one will ever snatch them out of My hand.  My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater and mightier than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.

(John 10:29)


[…] Neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8:37-39)


For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.

(Psalm 103:11)


 

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

(Psalm 27:10)

Happy Valentine’s Day 

In truth and in with love

Faith xox

Faith’s Guide